Making All Your Dreams Come True Can Be Done

Dreams are often overlooked as something that we will get to.  A project for when we have time.  Something to sustain us while going through a rough time.  When life isn’t so crazy… or chaotic.

However, I had a bit of a revelation this morning as I sat down to write (and I  apologize in advance because this is a lengthy one, but if you stick with me until the end I am positive you’ll understand why and that you’ll agree it was worth your time!).  It’s been a couple of weeks, and I was going to start this out with some blasé comment about how crazy and chaotic life has been – but let’s be honest.  First – I’ve said that before.  Who hasn’t?  Second – when isn’t life crazy and chaotic?

Not that I would want it any other way.  After all, if you sit down and start analyzing why your life is crazy and chaotic, is there anything you would want to change?

When my daughter was born, life became chaotic.  Dance class, gymnastics, T-ball, swimming, play dates, birthdays – and that was all before school started.  No, not at the same time.  I believed it was my responsibility as a parent to expose my daughter to as many different things as I could when she was young, so when she became older she could make the choice herself as to what she wanted to do, and she would have the knowledge to make that decision.

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School life was a whole other chaos.  Especially middle and high school.  Regardless of the age though, there were school events, play dates, birthday parties, sporting events – oh!  Let’s not forget the ever-important aspect of having to go to work to be able to pay for all these activities and events your child/ren want to be involved in.

Photo of an older man on the left, and the author on the right.

About the time my daughter was three, my dad began to have health issues, after many years of dealing with things we didn’t know were issues.  He had his second major heart attack, a few years later he was diagnosed with COPD (which was relatively unknown at that time), and his health began going downhill from there.  Dad was a stubborn old coot, and many times I was required to assist mom in getting him to the hospital or what have you.  That became a whole other chaos and eventually led to taking over the caregiver role as it was too much for mom.

Fast forward a few years, daughter is now out of college and successful in establishing her own life three hours away.  I’m diagnosed with breast cancer and life’s chaos starts anew.  While this wasn’t the most fun chaos and craziness I’ve ever experienced, I am pleased with the direction life has gone afterwards.

But again, there is chaos and craziness.  As I begin to pursue dreams I’ve had all my life, never having the courage (for a previous post regarding how I found courage – click here!) or backbone to pursue, I find that most days are a non-stop whirlwind of activities I should complete.  And, if you didn’t know, I really hate the word “should”.  Somebody once said to me, “Why do you want to “should” all yourself” and ever since then I try very hard to reword that when it comes up.  After all, all ‘shoulding’ on yourself does is make you depressed and feeling like a failure because you haven’t reached your goals or completed your to-do list.

Despite it all, it is a good chaos and craziness.  I’m busy, I’m happy, I’m healthy (as healthy as I can be anyway – oh all right – as healthy as I can be while still enjoying ice cream, chocolate and coffee.  Geez you people are rough! And I love it!)  I still have a way to go in reaching the pinnacle of my dreams, but at this point that’s irrelevant.  What is relevant is every morning I wake up and I do something to make those dreams come true.  And isn’t that what life Is really all about?

We only have one chance at this life.  Well perhaps two for those who experience a near death event.  So, at what point are you going to begin to enjoy the life you’ve been given and do whatever you can to make it the best life ever?

Now don’t go all negative Nellie on me and say “Well I can’t do that, I can barely make enough money to pay the bills” or insert any other statement to prevent you from pursuing your dream.  Whatever that statement is, it simply is not true.  Trust me on that, I’ve been saying them all for years.

Every one of us can create a dream, to pursue that dream, and to achieve that dream.  Will there be obstacles in the way?  Absolutely.  Are there road blocks, and barriers, and detours as well?  Without a doubt.  Will there be days where you think you just don’t have the ambition, the energy, the courage, the stamina to push through another day?  Of course.  Why wouldn’t there be?

I mean honestly.  Wouldn’t there be days like that whether you were pursuing dreams or just attempting to live through the day?

So how do you overcome those road blocks?  How do you wake up each morning and find the drive to make the most of every day, and when you lay your head down on your pillow at night you fall asleep knowing a peace and contentment because you can truthfully say without a doubt that you were the best you, you could be?  And to be able to say that every night, regardless of what happened during the day?

I have developed three simple, well they will become simple with practice, ways I wake up every morning and live intentionally to achieve my dreams.  And you, my lucky reader, are going to be in the know as I am going to share them right here!  However, as with anything I ever share, or say, or suggest, these may not work the same for you as they did with me.

Download your FREE Kreatively Finding Your Dreams guide here!

Another aspect of life is learning what we can, and then we have three choices from there:  1.  We learn and do – just as it is.  2.  We learn and modify – make it yours.  Make it so it will work and be successful for you.  And 3.  We learn and move on – because that just won’t work.  Even then, if #3 is what happens, then keep digging until you find a #1 or #2 choice – because I’ll guarantee something out there will work for you.

It isn’t an easy process though. It’s hard work.  You will need to keep revising, learning, and revising some more.  Always keep this in mind though – anything worth having is worth pursuing.  Regardless of how much work it is.

So.  Without further ado here are my three simple ways to start pursuing the dreams of your lifetime!

Live Authentically

Yeah, I know. You’ve heard this or read this a bazillion times.  But here is where I differ.  It has taken me a very long time to understand what exactly that meant … for me.  There are so many resources out there on how to live authentically, but I have never found, and maybe it is out there, and I just haven’t found it, something that told me I needed to define what that meant to me.

And that, my dear friends, is the little twist.  For if we don’t define what living authentically means to us as an individual, are we living authentically?  When we wake up every morning and choose to not pursue our dream/s because we are not good enough, or talented enough, or not in a good place financially; are we living authentically?

I think not.

So, for my first suggestion I strongly encourage you to spend some time defining your life’s authenticity.  Ask yourself some questions:

What does living authentically mean to me?  Dig deep.  Go beyond the be honest, caring, kind, respectful, generous – because those, to me, are a code of ethics.  Living authentically can include standing by your code of ethics, but those in and of themselves are not living authentically.  They are just one piece of the puzzle.

What dreams do you have?  Have you had a passion for something that you’ve been pushing aside?  Did you ever look at someone and sigh saying, “I wish I could do that?”  What was it?  Write it down.  Create an authenticity list.  Include your code of ethics, your values, your beliefs – because those are what makes up being authentic.  Just don’t stop there.  Go deeper.  And take your time creating this list.  Spend a few days, maybe a week, maybe longer creating this list.  Revise it.  Change    it.  Change it back.  Modify it.  Make it your own.

Here’s a different twist.  Write down what you don’t want to be.  What defines not living authentically.  Is it when someone says one thing and does something different?  How about working in a job you hate?

The purpose of this step is to develop your authentic life.  Because without knowing what that means, without writing it down, do you really know?  And how can you live it if you don’t know what means?

Just like the adage says:  if a tree falls in the forest, can anyone hear it?  If you don’t know what living authentically means, can you live it?

Searching for Your Dream

I don’t know about you, but when I decide I want to do something, I have a pretty bad habit of jumping in with both feet, my two arms, and all the other extremities.  For some reason, I have found that if I am going to do something I am all in. Which isn’t always a bad thing.

However, I have found that usually this will triple or quadruple my work.  I find myself having to completely redo a web site because it is not compatible with a program It need to have.   Or I sign up for a web hosting plan that doesn’t do what I want it to. This list could go on and on.   The bottom line is I usually start something from the end… and that doesn’t work so well.  Nor is it efficient.

So, if you haven’t guessed yet, the second step is to define your dream.  What is it that you dream of doing?  Do you want to become a photographer?  Or maybe it is to become a CNA?  What about staying home and becoming a full-time blogger?  What is it that right before you close your eyes at night flashes through your mind?

Then spend some time defining what you want your end goal to be.  Do you want to work from home?  Or perhaps open a bakery?  A coffee house?  About this time, I begin to write things down because I have a mind swimming with so many ideas, end goals, dreams that they all start colliding into one another.  Which creates a slight attention deficit disorder in that not one idea ever seems to have a beginning, middle or end.

Once you have your list written down, your end goal defined, do your due diligence.  What I mean is start researching people who have accomplished what you want to do.  Is there a favorite blogger you like to read?  Find out their back story.  How did they reach their goals?  Do they have any suggestions on where to start?  What programs you should use?

Or if you need to go back to school, research schools.  Delve deep into their programs, the costs, their expectations of you as a student.   There are plenty of people out there who are willing to share their story.  Some do it for free.  Others charge to take their course.  Which is not a bad idea; however, make sure you spend time researching one that resonates with you.  Find that one that makes you go “ooohhh”.  Because I will guarantee once you start reading up about them, more and more will come across your news feed.

A note of caution here.  Never, ever, purchase or buy something that you cannot afford.  I am all about investing in yourself to achieve your dreams.  I am not about putting yourself into hawk to achieve that.  The first rule of thumb in a budget is making sure you have money for a roof over your head, transportation, and food on the table.  Do not cross that boundary because you found a fabulous course that will make you rich in 90 days by joining up with them – all for only $2,999!  While that might be a good deal, if you can’t afford that without taking money away from something else, then stop!  It is NOT a good deal.

After you have defined authenticity and searched for your dreams comes the fun part.  Implementation of steps to achieve those dreams!

Download your FREE Kreatively Finding Your Dreams guide here!

Post to be continued…..

Until next time, capture life kreatively!

Myra

P.S.  I alluded to the fact of an E-book series – yes that is true!  I am in the process of creating a series of E-books regarding Living Life Kreatively.  They are still in the planning stages and will probably take a while to finish them but if you want to be notified of their progress and when they are complete, sign up for my newsletter.  That way you’ll be one of the first to know!

A person holding a wooden board with three small plants taken out of their pots

Words – Planting Positive Seeds for Life

Words.  There has been a huge struggle with words happening for the past few days.  Heck… to be honest the past two weeks.  Writer’s Block is stretching it a bit far, because as you have probably figured, there are a bazillion topics I could totally reference to fill this page up with words.

Yet with all those topics, and all the words that surround those topics, this page remained white.  A blank expanse of white… taunting me.  After all, how hard can it be to write a bunch of words down?  It’s just words.  They are readily available.  They easily flow right off the tip of one’s tongue.  Oftentimes without any thought as to what we are saying, or how they are being received.

Planting Seeds

But what if we changed how we think about words?  What if we added an Photo of a Monarch Butterfly hanging from a milkweed flower.addendum to the word words?  Instead of just words, it would be words – planting seeds.  All of a sudden a small, inconspicuous word, becomes a glaring reminder of just how powerful of a word, words is.   Because anyone who has ever planted a seed knows only two things can happen.

In 7-10 days you will either see a beautiful, little green shoot popping up through the dirt and soil, or you will see the exact same thing you saw 7-10 days earlier when you planted the seeds.  A big fat nothing.  Nada.  Zilch.  Well other than the soil that is.  And considering you planted the seeds to begin with, a guess could be ventured that you would be much happier with the first result rather than the second.

Power of Seeds (Words)

Well just like the seeds that are planted, every time words are spoken or uttered, an opportunity occurs to build one up; or to tear one down.  Yeah, I know.  We need to delve into that a little deeper don’t we?

Okay – let’s act out a scenario.

You are sitting at the kitchen table while your significant other, husband, wife, girlfriend, boyfriend, whatever floats your boat … is preparing breakfast.  Without looking up from the paper, you exclaim “Hey!  Get me some more coffee wench.”  (While I really kind of like that word for some unknown bizarre reason, I can truthfully say I would not want to hear it in the tone that I hear in my head when reading that sentence.)

Now again, just like the seeds, there are two primary options that are going to happen.  The first is the person cooking breakfast is going to turn around and start hurling back negative words in your direction.  (And honestly, if you talk like that, you deserve what you get.)

The other option is having your breakfast dumped into your lap.  Neither of those are what you wanted… more coffee.  Well wait, unless what is dumped in your lap is coffee and then you’ll probably have bigger things to worry about other than your coffee cup being empty.

Now let’s plant words of kindness.  Same scenario except this time you exclaim, “Hey darling, could I have some more coffee please?  Thank you for cooking breakfast.  It was delicious.”

Photo of a coffee pot on the stovetop spouting steam, with a coffee cup and a can of Folgers coffee on the counter next to the stove. My guess is you will receive a big smile, perhaps even a hug or a kiss, as well as a steaming hot cup of coffee…. in the cup.

Think back to when someone said something to you in a hurtful, mean manner.  How did you feel?  Did you want to continue the relationship?  Were you kind back?  Or did you respond in the same way – mean and hurtful?  When we are mean and hurtful, we do nothing but build walls or barriers.  There is no connection when a wall is built of negative words.

Pruning the Seeds

Y’all know I am extremely passionate about brain science, child development, and how childhood trauma effects us our whole life – even if we aren’t aware of it.  And if you didn’t know that… where have you been??!!  Have you not been paying attention?  Puppies, kids, brain science, my family, dealing with cancer … my top five.  Now you know.

Eek, I digress.   Again.

A huge component of surviving our childhood, is learning how to be resilient.  Being resilient happens as a result of positive, nurturing relationships, where one feels loved, cared for, and most importantly valued.  But the key word there is relationships.  How are relationships started?  If you guessed words – you’ve been paying attention!

Just like the seeds needed water and sunlight to grow, relationships need positive and caring words.  The more positive and caring words, the stronger the relationship.  The stronger the relationship, the more resilient one can be.  The more resilient one is, the faster they can recover from a setback, or negative outcome.

As I am sure you are all aware, suicide is occurring more often, and at alarming rates.  I don’t have any research to support or prove this, but let’s pretend.  What if the reason for so many suicides is because they are not resilient.  If we are talking about a high school student, perhaps all the negative words, taunts, and teasing have tore down any resiliency they might have had.  What if they have no positive relationship, at least they don’t think they do because I am not in any way, shape, or form saying their parents were positive.

What if on the day they snap, it is because someone looked at them and said, “Hurry up!  You are so slow!!”

How many times have you said that to a child?  Heck, I know I’ve said it to my hubby a time or two.  Perhaps ten.  But who’s counting?  Not me.

But we should be.  We should always be pruning our words.  Because there is no way to know when what we will say could be a matter of life or death.

I think back to my chemo journey.  I know you’ve heard me say a time or two that while I know it is said to be kind and helpful, telling me I am strong is a bit of a pet peeve.  In fact I just wrote about that a few weeks ago in Surviving a Rough Week.   In that post I wrote about how changing the word ‘strong’ to ‘grace’ made more sense to me.  Well today I am going to say, what about using the word resilient?  You are so resilient.  In other words you recover quickly and easily.

Not that bad things do not happen to you.  But that you recover quickly and easily.  Because let’s be honest – bad things happen.  Especially to good people.  But how are some able to recoup faster?  If you guessed resiliency, I have done my job.

Let’s think back to that teenager on the day they are going to snap.  What if someone had come up to them that day and asked, “Are you okay?”  Or “Johnny, I really enjoy having you in my class.  Your natural ability to see both sides of a story helps me to see things in a different way.”  Making them feel valued.  Making them feel honored.  Building their resiliency.

Harvesting the Seeds

Unfortunately, just like after we harvest the seeds and ship them off somewhere, we may not always see the impact our words have one someone.  Sometimes words take a long time to grow, to build enough strength in that the person can truly feel the words.

I think of raising a teenager and how easy it would be to resort to negative, demeaning words when dealing with some of the hormonal issues occurring.  Then I think of when they become young adults, and how because positive, encouraging words were used, how much better they can handle adult life.  If you’re lucky, you’ll even get a “thank goodness you didn’t listen to me” from said kid.  Our words can build a wall, squash one’s spunk, tear down one’s tenacity.  Or they can build a relationship, nurture one’s spirit, foster resiliency.

All because of words.  What a powerful seed to plant.

Until next time, capture life kreatively!

Myra

P.S.  Have you had someone in your life who made you feel unconditionally loved, cared for, and nurtured?  Give them a shout-out in the comments below.  I would love to thank them as well!

Disclaimer:  I have not personally read these books, however, they have high reviews.